Triangle Trip

How I Became a United Flight Attendant

by statusmonger on Sep.06, 2009, under Airlines



So I’m on this United flight sitting in an aisle seat reading a book when a flight attendant comes by with a coffee tray.

“Sir, he wants coffee.” I look up and he’s clearly talking to me. I’m thoroughly puzzled. “Excuse me?” I ask. I don’t even drink coffee.

“The gentleman next to you wants coffee.” I’m still confused. Does he want me serve the guy next to me coffee? I give the flight attendant a puzzled look.

“Can you please take a cup and hold it while I pour coffee for the gentleman next to you?” Wait, what? The guy next to me has no hands or what? I look over at the guy next to me; he has all his hands and his arms are long enough to reach over the length of my narrow seat.

Grudgingly I pick up a cup from the tray and hold it while the flight attendant pours coffee for the guy next to me. Once he is done I give it to the guy next to me.

I’ve always complained about service or rather the non-existence of it on United. Now it has hit an all-time low.

Or maybe I’m just a jerk.

 
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